I was born with autism. Almost everybody who has it is born with it. But usually parents don't know that. They think their baby is perfect. I looked terrific - and I was cute. But my Mom now tells me that I was a difficult baby. I cried a lot and didn't sleep very much or very well. My friend Josh has autism and his mom says that he was a real good baby who never cried. So I guess people with autism aren't alike as babies.

As I began to grow my Mom and Dad and grandparents began to wonder why I did some of the things I did. I loved to watch certain things. Usually it would be things that moved like cats, wheels, balls, rolling words on TV or lights that blinked. Sometimes I made things move by rocking my body back and forth or flicking my fingers. I played with toys in my own way and liked things that could be put together and taken apart. Sometimes I wanted to play with other children, but I didn't know what to do. Sometimes when I tried to play I did the wrong thing and people told me, "No," "Stop," or "Go Away."

I needed to know exactly what was going to happen and often got upset when things changed. Sometimes I yelled and screamed a lot since I couldn't explain what was bothering me. I had trouble understanding what people were doing and what they were saying. I didn't like to be around lots of people and some noises hurt my ears.

Now that I am older, I want to know more about autism. I want to know why I have it. Sometimes I'm teased by other kids and this makes me mad. Sometimes people try to make me do things that I don't want to do and they don't make any sense to me. Sometimes people say I'm not trying or that I'm lazy or dumb. They just don't know how hard some things are for me.

I get in trouble for being too loud, too excited, too talkative, and too bossy. And I get in trouble for staying by myself too much, for playing Nintendo too much, and for watching TV too much. I don't have many friends to do things with. Sometimes I'm not sure what to do with friends. What I like isn't always what they like, or they don't want to do things the way I know to do them. I need to know more about how to get along with others. What makes me this way?

My mon and dad explained what the psychologists and doctors said. Your parents, grandparents, or teachers can talk to you about your autism. The brains of people with autism grow differently. We learn differently than most people. We can learn, but we need help to make sense from the things we hear, see, touch, smell, and taste. No one knows exactly why we learn differently, or exactly what parts of the brain make this happen.

Everyone with autism has a problem communicating with other people. We have trouble understanding verbal and body language. We have trouble letting other people know our wants and thoughts. Sometimes it takes us longer to figure out what's going on. It's often easier to figure out math problems and how the VCR or computer works, than why people do what they do. People change too much.

People often get upset with kids with autism because we have so much trouble understanding and often refuse to do what other people want us to do. We often just need more time, more information, or more help. We don't even know why people are mad at us. We sometimes get upset just worrying about all this and we have trouble telling other people how we feel or what we need.

People with autism can do lots of things but need extra help sometimes. We need people who understand. And we need people to try and see what the world is like for us. We are trying. We want to learn. We want to do well. We try to figure it all out, but sometimes we get mixed up and anxious. Sometimes our nervousness gets out of control and we do things that we're sorry about later. We often have trouble staying calm and relaxed.

I will learn more about autism later. But now I have lots to do. I'll work hard to figure things out and do my best; but I make mistakes like everyone does. I hope people will give me a chance and try their best to understand me, help explain things to me, and be patient with me.

Let's all work and learn together. And let's have fun, too.